1 00:00:02,740 --> 00:00:06,020 In 2017 , I was stationed at Joint Base 2 00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:09,890 Elmendorf Richardson and I got a phone 3 00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,870 call that changed our lives forever . 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:16,020 My step mom , I called and I was at 5 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:18,180 work . I remember it was a Tuesday in 6 00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:21,430 april and she said your brother is 7 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:24,370 being airlifted to a hospital um and 8 00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,370 your father has been arrested . She 9 00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:28,560 said , I don't know what happened , I 10 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,120 don't know When Gabe is gonna 11 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,330 arrive . I made the decision to leave 12 00:00:35,340 --> 00:00:38,690 Alaska the next night to Indiana . 13 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:42,450 And um when I arrived in Chicago on six 14 00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:44,910 April , I opened my phone to a 15 00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:47,132 voicemail that said , go ahead and give 16 00:00:47,132 --> 00:00:49,132 us a call when you get this . And I 17 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:52,460 knew um my brother had passed away . 18 00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:00,780 I am a health services manager and I 19 00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:02,836 work at David Grant Medical Center . 20 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,096 Well , I have a really unique family 21 00:01:05,096 --> 00:01:07,318 dynamic . So I have seven sisters and a 22 00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:10,890 brother . Um but I have one son Bruce , 23 00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:12,668 he's eight years old and then I 24 00:01:12,668 --> 00:01:15,230 actually adopted two of my sisters . So 25 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,341 I have a seven year old and a 17 year 26 00:01:17,341 --> 00:01:20,150 old that are legally my Children , but 27 00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:22,980 biologically my sisters . So when 28 00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:25,040 everything first happened , I first 29 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,880 went to mental health um at Joint base 30 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,870 Elmendorf Richardson and I spent 31 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,840 a couple of sessions just crying or 32 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,060 sitting in total silence because I 33 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:40,160 couldn't articulate how was this my 34 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,680 life ? How is my brother 35 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,770 gone ? How is my father arrested ? Um 36 00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:48,780 The unknown about what would happen 37 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:51,460 with my sisters . Um the guilt 38 00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:54,480 associated with not going home and not 39 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,647 being able to say goodbye to Gabe . So 40 00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:59,950 Bruce was um six at the time 41 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,340 My life was , I was a shell of myself . 42 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:06,590 I got up , I went to work , I made it 43 00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:09,540 through three meals and I went home . 44 00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:11,980 Um , I didn't talk to many people , I 45 00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:15,620 didn't socialize . I it felt like me 46 00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:17,920 and 50 ft of glass and then everyone 47 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:21,320 else because I was the girl whose dad 48 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,480 killed her brother . And so I worked 49 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,720 through losing my brother and losing my 50 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,840 dad . And then I got a phone call and 51 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,729 it was from the social workers in 52 00:02:32,729 --> 00:02:34,920 indiana . And would you like to be 53 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,660 considered to adopt them ? And I said 54 00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:41,260 yes immediately , no thought said yes . 55 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,070 Um , each of the girls were , you know 56 00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:46,126 in different places in their healing 57 00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:48,181 and they were in different places of 58 00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:50,237 their trauma response . They were in 59 00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,403 different stages of grief . There were 60 00:02:52,403 --> 00:02:54,630 a lot of really challenging moments and 61 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:56,519 after 10 months I had to make the 62 00:02:56,519 --> 00:02:59,180 extremely tough decision to relinquish 63 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,470 custody of one of my sisters . She had 64 00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:03,359 some medical needs as well , some 65 00:03:03,359 --> 00:03:05,414 emotional needs that I just couldn't 66 00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:07,692 meet . At that point , I moved on . Um , 67 00:03:07,692 --> 00:03:09,803 continued with the process of working 68 00:03:09,803 --> 00:03:12,026 to adopt the other two girls that I had 69 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,560 in my care . And um , 70 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:17,470 On January 2020 judges 71 00:03:17,470 --> 00:03:21,070 approved the petition to adopt and 72 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,380 you have to new to new kids in your 73 00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:28,150 family . And so I went home and um , 74 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,470 I started reading the court order that 75 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:33,670 said the petition to approve the 76 00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:37,050 adoption is hereby granted and uh 77 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,420 they were so happy . Yeah that's how 78 00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:45,850 come I have three kids um and why have 79 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,961 adopted two of my sisters . I look at 80 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,183 the girls now , one of them just turned 81 00:03:50,183 --> 00:03:53,770 17 in September and to remember what 82 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:55,937 she was like as a kid when I was there 83 00:03:55,937 --> 00:03:58,159 helping her learn to tie your shoes and 84 00:03:58,159 --> 00:04:00,850 helping her learn to walk and To see 85 00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:02,961 her then and then to see her when she 86 00:04:02,961 --> 00:04:05,460 was 12 when when we lost our brother . 87 00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:08,690 And then to see her now um she's 88 00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:10,990 overcome so much and she still has such 89 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,230 a beautiful heart and she's so kind and 90 00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:17,700 she's so optimistic and so moments like 91 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,650 that you learn to celebrate and 92 00:04:20,650 --> 00:04:24,520 recognize the amazing things that can 93 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,590 come the beauty that can come from 94 00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:28,830 ashes and that's that's where we're at 95 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:29,260 now . 96 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:38,440 So one day I was driving home after 97 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,440 work and I thought you know it'd be 98 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,130 really great if we could remember Gabe 99 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:45,196 because I don't want to stop talking 100 00:04:45,196 --> 00:04:47,029 about him . I don't want to stop 101 00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:49,140 talking about child abuse about child 102 00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,690 neglect , but also about mental health 103 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,700 and about mental health resources . 104 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,530 What we have done though is create a 105 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,140 social media movement which we call 106 00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:01,140 racks for Gabriel and so rack is an 107 00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:03,251 acronym that stands for random act of 108 00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:05,530 kindness and the premise behind it is 109 00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:07,586 just to simply do something nice for 110 00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:09,697 someone for no reason at all . And so 111 00:05:09,697 --> 00:05:12,260 it started with me printing up some 112 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:15,200 cards that say , um please accept this 113 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,200 random act of kindness , gifted and 114 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,311 loving memory of my brother , Gabriel 115 00:05:19,311 --> 00:05:21,533 baldwin and I would do something simple 116 00:05:21,533 --> 00:05:23,970 like drive through Starbucks and pay 117 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,914 for my coffee and then say , hey , 118 00:05:25,914 --> 00:05:28,081 could you pay for the coffee behind me 119 00:05:28,081 --> 00:05:30,120 and give them this card ? So that's 120 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,231 what we do , we do rex for Gabriel to 121 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:34,890 do kind things for other people . We 122 00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:37,020 have a social media page , facebook 123 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,320 page up and people can send a message 124 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,690 to it . All we ask is for their address 125 00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:43,801 and we will package five cards up and 126 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,023 send them over wherever they want . And 127 00:05:46,023 --> 00:05:48,079 I think at this point we've probably 128 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:51,490 sent About 420 cards across actually 129 00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:53,601 the world . We send those cards and a 130 00:05:53,601 --> 00:05:56,290 little overview of what Iraq is and 131 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,740 what the intent is behind it . And then 132 00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,740 sometimes people will follow up and 133 00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:03,018 they'll share what it is that they did . 134 00:06:03,018 --> 00:06:05,240 And other times we'll get messages from 135 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,462 people who have said , hey , I got this 136 00:06:07,462 --> 00:06:09,796 card today , someone paid for my coffee , 137 00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:11,907 someone paid for my dinner at a movie 138 00:06:11,907 --> 00:06:15,240 or a movie ticket , um and then uh they 139 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,240 want to participate too . And so it 140 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,980 kind of just spreads and it's always 141 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,860 really nice to hear that people 142 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,430 remember my brother , even if they 143 00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:25,860 didn't know him . So