Marriage seminar helps Kirkuk servicemembers Published Dec. 28, 2007 By Staff Sgt. Jared Marquis 506th Air Expeditionary Group Public Affairs KIRKUK AIR BASE, Iraq (AFPN) -- Being away from family for an extended period of time, like a deployment, can really stress a relationship. To help reduce the stress, members of the 506th Air Expeditionary Group Chapel along with the 506th Expeditionary Medical Group Mental Health Flight sponsored a three-week marriage seminar at Kirkuk Air Base. "One of the main functions we serve as chaplains is needs assessment," said Chaplain (Capt.) Mark Williams. "We survey people to find out what issues are affecting them and what they would like to improve while they are here. One of the areas we received a lot of replies in, was marriage." Because this was a hot topic for the members deployed here, the chaplain approached mental health, where they combined notes and built the class. Chaplain Williams said many people take the wrong approach to their relationships when they leave for a deployment; something that causes problems down the road. "One of the main things we find (when dealing with marriage) is that when people leave home for a deployment or extended period of time, they tend to put everything on hold. The truth of the matter is that you can't," he said. People and relationships are constantly growing and that doesn't change while you are gone, Chaplain Williams said. Families will either grow closer or farther apart. "Our goal then was to show those who wanted to attend ways that they could grow stronger in your marriage, even while the distance separates you," he said. "The distance should be the only thing that separates you." Tech. Sgt. Chester Ward of the 506th Air Expeditionary Group said he jumped on the opportunity to strengthen his marriage. "I've never been away from my wife for so long where we could not call each other at least every other day," Sergeant Ward said. "I wanted to find out how we could grow closer while being apart like this." This was the goal of the seminar, the chaplain said. "Our goal was to take the relationship -- whether it is great or falling apart -- and take people from the level where they are, and show them how it can be made better," he said. Sergeant Ward said the classes helped him communicate with his wife in a way he had never thought of. "The homework required me to communicate with my wife in a different way than I normally do," the sergeant said. "I was challenged to avoid the same old conversations and keep our marriage real. It is hard to do over the phone sometimes, but I've changed my e-mails too." The course focuses on five aspects of a marriage: Physical, social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. When you deploy, the physical and social aspects virtually disappear, which doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, Chaplain Williams said. "If you grow stronger in the other three areas of the marriage, even though you have lost the other two, you are building a stronger, firmer, wider foundation," he said. By focusing on these aspects, it is not only possible, but probable that a marriage will go stronger over a deployment. "Because of the separation, everyday distractions within a marriage are removed, making it possible to focus completely on the relationship," Chaplain Williams said. It is not too late for those who want to spend some time on their relationships, Chaplain Williams said. Chaplains throughout the area of responsibility are trained to help servicemembers through these types of life events. Comment on this story (comments may be published on Air Force Link) View the comments/letters page