Security, significance make difference in suicide prevention

  • Published
  • By Tech. Sgt. Collen Roundtree
  • 433rd Airlift Wing Public Affairs
LACKLAND AIR FORCE BASE, Texas (AFPN) --  When it comes to the all-important step of actually stopping someone from taking his or her own life, it is people caring about each other who make the biggest difference. 

“People need two things, security and significance,” said Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Lyle Von Seggern, 433rd Airlift Wing chaplain. “When a supervisor knows about us and cares about us, that gives us security and significance.” 

The source of security and significance is not limited to supervisors. Everyone in the wing can meet those needs in the people they work with. 

“It's something I call the principle of identification,” Chaplain Von Seggern said. “As we (identify) closer and closer in groups, hopefully we will know more, care more and thus be a proper wingman for those who we serve with.” 

Being aware of what co-workers, friends and family are going through is helpful when life for them gets tough. Tough times are a normal part of life and talking about issues can solve problems or provide solutions. 

“We all go through phases in our life where we might need the additional help to get through it,” said Tish Gonzales, 433rd AW family support center director. 

Additional help isn’t always formal. Sometimes it’s just having someone listen, or listening to someone. 

“Through listening and being in the moment, it helped. (They were able) to see the problem clearer through an outsider and to even figure out avenues they had to initiate to overcome the problem,” said Ms. Gonzales about one instance where she worked with a client. 

Dealing with the moment, the "here and now," is a tool Todd Pullen, consultant and licensed psychotherapist working with Military One Source, finds valuable in helping people deal with overwhelming issues. 

“There is a quote that states, ‘The past is just a memory, the future is just a dream. The only thing that is real is here and now.’ I ask, ‘How do you feel right now? Are you safe? Are you OK?” said Mr. Pullen. 

Dealing with one issue at a time and using the right tool for the job are matters of common sense, officials say. Awareness of how to deal with life stresses is also important. Suicide looks like the only answer to someone who sees no way out of a desperate situation. But that is not the truth. Seeing the truth about a situation is difficult when things get tough. Everyone needs personal stress relief tools and a way to stay focused on what is true. For some, the focus comes from faith, for others it comes from close relationships. 

“The principle I fall back on is know the truth, believe the truth and live the truth,” said Chaplain Von Seggern. “That’s how I recover (from life’s hard times). For me, that truth is a person and his name is Jesus Christ.” 

“Having a confidant I can share what I am going through with, works best for me,” Ms. Gonzales said.

Another fact about life and suicide is not every problem can be handled by simple conversations and not everyone has faith or a trusted friend. Sometimes the solution is medication, counseling or education. And sometimes those things come from a third party, Ms. Gonzales said.

“The chaplain section and Family Support rely on each other’s strengths to help our members get through difficult times and with the help of our community we can provide professional assistance, if need be, through Military One Source counseling network,” she said.

Not everyone is able to open up about what he or she is facing. 

“I believe people don’t seek out help due to embarrassment or a vulnerably of being labeled as someone who is weak or unstable,” Ms. Gonzales said.

But isolating because of what someone might say is another myth that keeps people from seeking the tools they need to get through tough times, she said. 

Mr. Pullen said most suicides are committed by people who feel overwhelmed and without control over their own life. They feel that causing their own death is the only control they have left. 

“The fact is, we are all fallible human beings,” Mr. Pullen said. “We all make mistakes. You can learn from your mistakes and improve and try to make things better for yourself in the future." 

Even with all the best tools, no one is responsible for someone else’s decision to end their own life, he said.

“It may not be what the caller wanted, but if the other person really wanted to die, then they would have found a way somehow,” Mr. Pullen said. “It is irrational to blame ourselves for other people's behavior just as it is irrational to blame other people for how we feel.”