Recognize the warning signs

  • Published
  • By Tech. Sgt. Peter Long
  • 386th Air Expeditionary Wing Equal Opportunity Office
SOUTHWEST ASIA (AFNS) --  Those of us who serve or work for the miltiary receive training on suicide prevention, but how many of us really apply what we learn? Are we watching for warning signs? Do we know who is at risk and how we can help them? Do we know what we can do to help?

I don't know about you, but I always thought this stuff happens to other people. I pay attention to my training and I know what to look for. I just always figured it would be someone else who would experience it. In July 2005, I became that "someone else."

I lost someone to suicide that summer. He was only 21, on break from college and working at Hollywood for Warner Brothers. I thought he was on his way. I was proud of him and so was everyone else. Less than 18 months before, he was the best man at my wedding. Over the years we spent hours talking about everything, and I was always impressed with how intelligent he was. I believed he was happy in life and on his way to greatness. I thought he was happy.

However, the truth was far different. After I found out Will took his life, I was in denial. No way! Not Will! He had everything going for him, he was just getting started, he just turned 21. How could he do this? These are just some of the questions I had. As time passed I started wondering if I missed something. I started wondering if I really knew Will as well as I thought I did.

Did I miss something? 

About a month before he took his life he called me and asked if I wanted his stereo and fridge. He said he didn't need it where he was going. I drove down to Los Angeles and picked them up telling him if he moved again and wanted them back to let me know. Again he told me he wouldn't need them where he was going. I talked with him several times before his death and he sounded down and a bit "off." He sounded depressed, but I wasn't concerned. He had his whole life in front of him, and everyone has their ups and downs. I thought he was just experiencing some of life's little challenges. 

He called for help, and I did not recognize warning signs.

On July 28, I received a phone call at work telling me Will was dead; an unfinished life because no one recognized the warning signs. No one was there to answer his cry for help.

In retrospect it is clear he showed some warning signs, and my training taught me to recognize them, but because I did not pay attention to what he was saying and doing, I missed them. Now it's too late. I cannot go back and help him now because he's gone. I can only share my tragedy with you and hope you pay attention and recognize the warning signs of someone thinking about killing themselves so you do not have to live with the question, "Could I have saved him?"

Suicide is a concern for us especially when we're deployed. In 2008, 38 Airmen committed suicide as well as 140 Soldiers. 780 callers to the Veterans Affairs Suicide Prevention hotline identified themselves as active-duty troops in 2008. 

If we lose even one person to suicide, it's too many. We can prevent suicide, we have the knowhow. My own experience coupled with these numbers tells me to watch for the warning signs. 

Maybe if I paid more attention to Will he would still be here today and I would be telling you how I saved him. I made a mistake and it cost me dearly. Suicides can be prevented. Watch for the warning signs, and maybe you can save someone's life.