Lack of communication could cause you to miss the point

  • Published
  • By John Ingle
  • 82nd Training Wing Public Affairs
SHEPPARD AIR FORCE BASE, Texas (AFPN) --  Ever have those moments in life where you wish you could hit the rewind button and replay something that just took place?

I would hate to think that I am the only person putting tread down on this Earth who has ever dreamt of doing such a thing. It would be safe to guess that most of the instances that would require such a cosmic flashback would be those that involved something that was said or a reaction made before a thought was put into it.

I did the double whammy this past weekend.

Some friends and I decided that we would get together and watch our beloved Dallas Cowboys draft the future of the team at the 2005 National Football League Draft. The day started out successfully because I had obtained that coveted "kitchen pass" from the missus and knew when I was to be home.

My son had a baseball game that afternoon, so it was planned that I would be home with enough time to get him and me ready.

No sooner had I walked through the door, when I learned that my two youngest -- sometimes joined at the hip and sometimes joined by hand and throat – had been sent to their rooms for arguing.

Being the all-knowing father that I am, I immediately surmised that the culprit of the incident was a video game. Stephanie and Tucker have a history of flailing gaming controllers, game boxes and anything else they can get their hands on at each other, so it was a logical guess that a game was involved.

Without hesitation, I proceeded to lay into one and then the other, informing them of how childish -- I know, they are children -- it was to fight over a game.

"But dad," one began to say. I stopped them dead in their tracks before the short 'a' sound in "dad" came out.

"I don't want to hear it," I replied in a louder-than-needed voice. "That's the last time I'm getting a game for the two of you to argue over."

With that said, we packed up the car and headed to the baseball field.

While there, I realized that what I said might not have been the best. Before the game started, I told Stephanie that we would talk about the incident again after the game.

My mood got better as our team clobbered the other 19-0. Tucker did strike out looking, but that's another story.

Stephanie reminded me that we were to discuss the gaming episode again and I proceeded to apologize for how I handled it; that it was just a game. I didn't condone the argument, but it was a game.

Then, as they say, the truth came out of the mouth of my kids.

"We weren't arguing about the game, though," they said.

I was looking for a place in my truck to curl up into a ball. My tirade over the supposed cause of the problem was for naught.

Remember the guy at the Chicago Cubs game who interfered with a play and cost the Cubbies a trip to the World Series last year? Yeah, that was me in my own car. I was looking for a security guard to escort me out of the area so I wasn't pummeled by my own kids.

I didn't take the time to listen to what was said or what they were attempting to say. I had my assumptions, came to a conclusion and exacted my wrath as swiftly as possible.

I was wrong. Had I taken the time to listen to them, we would have had a different, and probably tamer, conversation. No, I didn't condone the argument they had. But I didn't condone my actions.

The same can be said for the workplace. How often do we react or speak before we fully understand what is going on? When was the last time you or someone you know was admonished before all the facts were out on the table?

It's better to wait than press on with limited information. Don't get caught trying to curl up in a ball, looking for a place to hide.