Air Force member shares father's suicide, encourages people to seek help

  • Published
  • By 2nd Lt. Shannon Collins
  • 52nd Fighter Wing Public Affairs
SPANGDAHLEM AIR BASE, Germany (AFPN) --  As I hear songs like “Butterfly Kisses” and “Daddy's Hands,” and as I watch a movie like “Father of the Bride," the words “self-inflicted gunshot wound” echo in my mind.

I will never have that special relationship between a father and a daughter. I won’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle or to celebrate Father’s Day with. And, it isn't because of a tragic automobile accident or a physical disease; it’s because of suicide.

In fiscal 2004, the Air Force had 57 suicides. Fifty percent of those cases involved Airmen between the ages of 17 and 24. My father was 30 when he did it -- the age I am now.

His death certificate reads “massive laceration of brain” and “shotgun wound of the face.” He shot himself Dec. 12, 1979, and lived until Dec. 29, 1979. He was buried New Year’s Eve. Not only did he punish his family members with his loss, but with the sight of him bloody and broken in the hospital for 17 days.

Suicide ranks third as a cause of death among young Americans age 15-24, behind accidents and homicides, according to the American Association of Suicidology. It is the 11th leading cause of death overall.

Capt. Ruth Roa-Navarette, from the Spangdahlem Air Base life skills clinic, said though most Air Force suicides occurred between July and September this year, people should be extra mindful to reach out to those who may be at risk or alone during the holiday season.

The death certificate also reads “acute ethanolism,” which means he was very intoxicated at the time. In 2004, alcohol abuse accounted for about 19 percent of suicides across the Air Force.

The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence states that “alcoholism is a primary, chronic disease with genetic, psychosocial and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. The disease is often progressive and fatal. It is characterized by continuous or periodic impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking, most notably denial.”

The jury is out on why my father did what he did. We will always wonder. I will have to live with what he did for the rest of my life.

No matter how overwhelming a situation can be -- whether it is financial difficulties, receiving punishment in the military, or personal life twists and turns, anyone who considers suicide as the only way out should think of his or her parents, of the family and friends who may be far away but who care for him or her. Chaplains, life skills representatives, co-workers and supervisors are also there to listen.

With a little research, you can find a number of Web sites that provide information on suicide, suicide statistics or support groups for survivors of suicide. For immediate help, call a base chaplain or the life skills center. Most importantly, get help.