Perception is everything, communication is key

  • Published
  • By Col. Jim Hougas Jr.
  • 5th Medical Group commander
MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. (AFPN) --  Have you ever been in a conversation where all was going well, then all of the sudden another’s eyes glare at you as if you had just insulted their mother?

I had one of those “Maalox moments” while deployed to Prince Sultan Air Base, Saudi Arabia, a few years back.

New to the area of responsibility, in the middle of morning stand up, the wing commander noticed the “pegged fun meter” patch on my flight suit. I was asked to remove it on the spot and sternly reminded that no one, especially one in a leadership position, should ever wear a morale drainer like that.

Offline, he explained my patch conveyed to him a malignant attitude of “if you think today is bad, don’t expect it to improve anytime soon.” No wonder he hit me with that laser cannon stare. Embarrassed, I explained my genuinely intended sentiment was “Bring it on! I’m primed and eager to tackle any challenge.” One patch, two diametrically opposed interpretations.

How often do you think this type of miscommunication occurs in your unit? While hopefully not as dramatic as my example, I suspect it happens more often than we realize.

Effective communication is a two-way street. When speaking, is your intended message getting through? Do you have mannerisms that detract from or confuse that intent? When listening, do you focus on the speaker, or are the words just going in one ear and out the other? Do you ask for clarification when not sure of what was just said? More importantly, if offended by something just said, do you take the initiative to ask that person (in a nonconfrontational manner, of course) what he or she really meant, or do you just stew about what you think you heard?

Here a few tips that helped me become a more effective communicator and leader.

-- Start with your own winning attitude. Be a source of “positive waves.” Every day is a great day, but recognize some days are more fun than others.

-- Smile genuinely. In health care, our mantra is “Nobody cares what you know until they know that you care.” A warm, engaging smile shows people you are happy to see them and ready to listen.

-- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Good-natured humor helps keep the shop loose, but never at another’s expense.

-- Address an individual by name and shake his or her hand when you can. Open, receptive body language is critical. With arms unfolded, sit or stand at his or her level, make solid eye contact and nod your understanding of what is said. Watch the body language of those you speak to so you’re sure their perceptions and reactions mirror your intent. Address any mismatches on the spot.

Walk this talk every day, and those around you will trust you. Clear and focused multilateral communication will inspire teamwork, and your shop will hum like a finely tuned engine. Even better, you and your Airmen will be prepared for success even on those occasional days that aren’t as much fun.

Now, flash me one of your million-dollar smiles and let’s get down to business. Your country is depending on you.