Family key to suicide prevention

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Angela Pope
  • 4th Fighter Wing Public Affairs
SEYMOUR JOHNSON AIR FORCE BASE, N.C. (AFPN) --  I’ve seen the effects of suicide twice since joining the Air Force.

I’d been in for almost two years, and a young Airman who lived down the hallway from me in the dorm hanged himself. I didn’t know him; he had only been at the base for a couple of weeks, in the Air Force for a few months. I never found out why he felt he had no other way, but I’ve learned in my five years in the military there are always options. Someone is always willing to help.

My second brush with suicide happened recently. Again, it was a young Airman, new to the military and to the base. I hadn’t met him, but we lived in the same apartment complex. A few weeks ago, he decided to take his own life.

Why did these two Airmen feel they had no other choice? Did they really think suicide was the best solution to their problems? Did they think about their families and how it would affect them? How about their Air Force family?

Though I didn’t know either of the young Airmen, I shed tears in both cases. It was partly because it hurts to lose a family member, even when it’s not a blood relative, but mainly because I’ve also felt suicidal in my life.

I was 15 and my best friend in the entire world died -- my dad. I didn’t understand why he had been taken from me. I didn’t understand why I had to face such pain. All I could think about was being with him again, and saying the things I never got the chance to say.

I decided I was going to kill myself so I could be with him again.

My mom knew what I wanted to do and said something to me that shook my world. It didn’t make sense to me then, but now, 10 years later, it does, and I thank her for saying it.

She told me my dad would be mad and wouldn’t want to see me if I did that, and I had no right to put her and the rest of my family through that.

So, I stormed off to my room like any teenager would, and cried myself to sleep that night, and every night for the next week.

It took years for me to realize she was right. I think back on everything I’ve experienced since then, good and bad, and I’m grateful. I would have missed all of it had her words not gotten to me.

Not everyone in the military has someone on whom they can rely, someone to help them out of the fire.

But what every Airman does have is their Air Force family.

From financial troubles to relationship problems to work-related stress, the Air Force has resources to help with any difficulty. People in the Air Force don’t look at dealing with life’s problems as a burden, they see a wonderful opportunity to make every member’s life that much better.

And I can speak of that from personal experience, too.

Shortly after I joined the military, I married my boyfriend of two years. He soon became emotionally abusive and we divorced a few months later. I was a wreck physically, mentally and financially. I dropped 20 pounds in less than two weeks because I lost my appetite and didn’t eat. I couldn’t concentrate on work because of my emotional distress. I couldn’t pay my bills because of the mounting debts my ex-husband incurred and left for me to pay. I felt I was no good to myself or to the Air Force and I wanted out.

Thanks to a warm-hearted supervisor, a caring doctor, a chaplain, a counselor and the Air Force Aid Society, I was nursed back to health and shown that I did have a place in the Air Force.

So, during two very hard times in my life, I had two different families on which to rely, two families I love and cherish dearly, two families who will do anything to keep me a part of theirs.

The rough times will pass. But please don’t feel like you have to tackle them by yourself. Call a friend, your supervisor, your first sergeant, a chaplain or Life Skills. Or if you don’t want to share your feelings with them, call the National Suicide Hotline at (800) SUICIDE.

Take it from someone who’s been there, suicide isn’t the answer. Family is.