Taking care of family means getting affairs in order

  • Published
  • By 2nd Lt. Amber Millerchip
  • Air Education and Training Command Public Affairs
RANDOLPH AIR FORCE BASE, Texas (AFPN) --  One day, when I was 12 years old, my grandmother sat me on her lap and told me my mother had been killed in a car accident. She was only 40. My brother, stepfather and I never saw this coming. Nor did we expect the chaos and disarray that followed.

It didn't take long to understand my mother hadn't prepared for this either. Nothing was in order: no will, no life insurance, and no guidance on what to do with her belongings or ourselves. As a result, we didn't just lose our mother that day, we lost our home, our friends, our pets and everything we had known.

Unfortunately, my situation is not all that uncommon. Many people do not take the time to prepare for the unexpected, and the consequences to their families can last a lifetime.

When a death occurs, the sorrow and grief are overwhelming and any additional stress can exaggerate these feelings. That is why it is so important to have all your personal and financial affairs in order. As someone described it to me, it is your last gift of love to your family and, more importantly, it helps them start their journey of dealing with their loss.

Legal and living wills, Serviceman's Group Life Insurance and the Virtual Record of Emergency Data, or vRed, are four resources all airmen should be familiar with.

A legal will ensures your things are distributed according to your desires and identifies who will assume custody of minors.

Prior to my mother's death, my brother and I never discussed with our mom whom we preferred to live with. Fortunately, my father, an Air Force pilot, moved us to live with him, his wife and their child.

As for my mother's assets, I remember going around the house asking my stepfather for those things that really reminded me of her -- a picture, a ceramic elephant, a piece of jewelry. Sadly, since there was no legal will, the rest of her legacy went to him and later to his daughter.

In addition to the will, Capt. Marc Banjak, chief of legal assistance and preventative law at the 12th Flying Training Wing here, encourages servicemembers to write down their wishes, including burial arrangements, and communicate these with their executor or personal representative.

A living will is another important document. It provides instructions to your healthcare provider as to what you want done in the event you become incapacitated and have a terminal condition. These written health desires may also prevent family arguments by relieving loved ones from having to make difficult life or death decisions on your behalf.

The other two resources vital to a family's welfare are SGLI and vRed.

All service members are automatically covered under SGLI for $250,000, the maximum coverage available. Spouses and children are also automatically covered when the servicemember carries Family SGLI. Maximum coverage is $100,000 for a spouse and $10,000 for a child.

Some servicemembers elect not to take the SGLI, and in several cases family members suffered from this decision, according to Capt. Yancey Cowen, chief of the casualty services branch at the Air Force Personnel Center.

A recent case involved an active duty member whose death was ruled a suicide. The individual had declined SGLI in favor of private insurance, a policy which happened to include a suicide clause. Since the member had no SGLI and the death fell within the suicide clause window, his widow and his two children were denied any benefits from the private insurance.

Cowen said one important thing to remember is to make sure SGLI beneficiaries are always current. For instance, if someone gets a divorce then remarries, he or she must make sure the new spouse is the beneficiary versus the ex-spouse.

He also said it is important to keep vRed up-to-date in order to notify families quickly and ensure proper entitlements are received.

"There is never an excuse to not have it updated," said Scott Hand, AFPC chief of casualty operations. "The impact is on the family, and every time someone passes away, we have to assume (the vRED) is correct. We don't know if it's right or wrong until we get to the door."

Speaking from personal experience with my mother's unexpected death and the unnecessary heartache my family suffered, I urge you to act immediately and make this is your number one New Year's resolution. The only day to do it is today. Tomorrow may be too late. (Courtesy of Air Education and Training Command News Service)