Coming back from the darkness

  • Published
  • By -- author’s name withheld by request.
LANGLEY AIR FORCE BASE, Va. (AFPN) --  The other day I opened up a "significant events" report and read that an airman had killed himself. Just a few lines down, I saw where another had attempted suicide. As I looked at the words, I felt simultaneously sad and angry. But I also felt something more personal: understanding.

I understand what it is like to feel as if you are so far in a hole of blackness it has consumed everything in your life. I understand what it is like to want to die. But most importantly, I understand what it is like to come back.

Whether or not you have ever been in that position or known someone who has, I hope you read this message and take something from it.

The message is simple: help is out there, and things, no matter how bad, can get better. But people must be willing to utilize the resources available to them.

The human spirit is an amazing thing. It can survive and heal through tremendous hardships, though the road can often be difficult. Sometimes things seem so difficult a person would consider taking his or her own life as a solution.

When things progress that far, it is time for that person to get professional help. So why don’t they? Why do people hesitate to get involved? Why do suicides happen when they could be prevented? Why are people so afraid of the words “mental health?”

If your vehicle is broken you take it to a mechanic. If you are sick you go to the doctor. Getting help from a mental health professional is no different, yet so many people balk because they are afraid.

Wrongly, they fear it will adversely affect their career. They worry that getting help is a sign of weakness or cowardice, when in fact it is just the opposite. Getting help takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength. It means swallowing your pride and working hard, pressing forward despite the fear. But mostly, it means you are willing to fix things correctly instead of letting them get worse.

Over the years, I have talked to many people who have experienced suicidal thoughts or struggled with depression, stress, anxiety or other problems. The people are as varied as the reasons for their feelings. Many are people you would never suspect -- people who are successful and seem to have everything together. For some, the problems are situational and for others, the problems are medical. Some of those were people who at one time said, “I can’t imagine anything that would make me take my own life.” Regardless, they needed help.

The resources are available and things can get better, but sometimes that means you have to step out of your comfort zone. Drop the fear. Drop the judgment. Life is way too precious to let those things get in the way.

If you see someone in trouble, don’t skirt around it. Be honest. Tell that person you are concerned, and why. If you think he or she is out of control, say so. You may get ignored you but you could be the push the person needs.

If you need help, do yourself a favor and either tell someone or go get it yourself. There are people out there who will listen and help.

There are no good excuses to avoid getting help.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide claims the lives of more than 30,000 Americans a year. All could have been prevented. There are so many resources available, both military and civilian. Using them can save a life.

You may have noticed I didn't put my name on this editorial. That is not an accident. There is a point. You do not know who I am. I could be anyone -- your co-worker, the person you pass in the hallway and talk to almost daily. I could be your best friend, or even your boss. It is possible I am a family member: your spouse, parent, sibling or your child.

Or, I may even be you…

(Courtesy of Air Combat Command News Service)