BUCKLEY AIR FORCE BASE, Colo. (AFNS) -- I knew I had a problem. I knew I needed help. I knew going through life as a functioning alcoholic was not the path on which I was meant to travel.
I had even told my family in June that I would check into a rehabilitation facility.
Unfortunately, my life was also occupied with other concerns. We had a death in my unit at work, and I was dealing with personal issues of my own. Those troubles, coupled with other day-to-day priorities, seemed to be reason enough to hold off on getting the treatment I needed.
However, after I was arrested for driving under the influence it became painfully obvious that I wasn't being true to myself.
I was driving from Colorado to California for a friend's retirement when my vehicle broke down on the side of the road. A police officer stopped to check on the scene, and he smelled alcohol on my breath. Soon after that, I found myself handcuffed in the back of a squad car on the way to jail.
At first I couldn't believe what was happening, but a flood of thoughts soon came crashing down on me. What if someone would have gotten hurt or killed? How is this going to impact my family? What is this going to do to my career in the Air Force? Where do I go from here?
Alone in a jail cell for three hours where no one would tell me what was happening, I was completely miserable. I was dehydrated and chilled to the bone as I sat there in only a t-shirt and pants. A blood test revealed that my blood alcohol content was 0.19 -- more than twice the legal limit.
Regrettably, this DUI was the catalyst I needed to begin taking control of my alcohol problem.
I knew I was drinking too much, but the full reality of my problem had escaped me for years. Alcohol was my chosen method of relaxation and my go-to coping mechanism of dealing with stress. Alcohol effectively became my medicine. The more stress I encountered, the more I would self-medicate. The more complicated life became, the more I drank to cope with it.
Realizing the full extent of my problem, I immediately checked into the Air Force Alcohol and Drug Abuse Prevention and Treatment, or ADAPT, program upon my return to Buckley AFB. I went to a 28-day inpatient program two hours away from home. By the end of the course, I had become the de-facto class leader. This program was tough to go through because I was away from work and my family, but invaluable in my recovery. Today, I continue to attend an ADAPT-approved civilian after-care program three days per week, for three hours each session and I feel great. Looking back, I only wish I would have reached out years ago to start this process.
The truth is that there are many people in the Air Force who need the same kind of help I did. They range from the most junior Airmen to senior personnel. I urge anyone in this situation to seek assistance and be persistent about it. I spent much of my career taking care of my people and the mission, but I failed to take care of myself. If you have a problem, please take care of yourself and be proactive about it. There are so many resources available, but you must take the necessary steps to get help.
DUIs and alcohol related incidents are far too common in our Air Force. I know many Airmen of all ranks across the Air Force have misconceptions about what a DUI can do to a career. The fact is that the consequences are staggering and a DUI or alcohol-related incident can do irreparable damage to your career. For an enlisted Airman, it can mean some combination of a criminal conviction, demotion, forfeitures, referral performance report, or a non-recommendation for reenlistment.
Prior to my DUI, I had a fantastic career in the Air Force. I was a distinguished graduate coming out of technical school, Airman Leadership School, the NCO Academy and the Senior NCO Academy. I was the Altus AFB Airman of the Year in 1996, and the NCO of the Year in 1997. I promoted to master sergeant at 11 years, and senior master sergeant at 15 years. In 2008, I was the Peterson AFB Senior NCO of the Year. These accomplishments helped me reach the rank of chief master sergeant at the 18-year point of my career.
I share this information with you not to boast, but to help explain the impact of the situation. My bright Air Force career is over. The DUI cost me my chief master sergeant rank and an Article 15 from a lieutenant general. The demotion will cost me nearly $900 per month during my enlistment. I will take a retirement pay cut of $394 per month that will last my lifetime and cost more than $200,000 in lost income, assuming I live to age 80.
I am not looking for any sympathy. I do hope my story can serve as a warning. If this article helps even one of my fellow Airmen avoid a similar situation or leads them to get help, it will have made my sharing worthwhile. I am living proof that continually treating yourself with alcohol only makes problems worse.
Please be brutally honest with yourself. You may have a problem you don't even recognize exists because you are still able to carry out your daily activities. If you are drinking and driving or using alcohol as a coping mechanism, there is something wrong. If you come to later regret your actions after drinking or if you drink to relieve stress on a repeated basis, you are skating on thin ice. It's only a matter of time before you hurt yourself, your family, your career, your finances and especially your freedom.
Go to ADAPT or one of the many other resources the Air Force makes available. Get the help you need today!