ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England—Master Sgt. Michelle Blake, 48th Medical Group flight chief for medical readiness, sends a message to women, “It’s NOT your fault” April 2, 2013. Blake was a victim of sexual and domestic abuse and her story is being featured during Sexual Assault Awareness Month. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Stephanie Mancha)
ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England—Master Sgt. Michelle Blake, 48th Medical Group flight chief for medical readiness, is being featured during Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Blake wanted to share her story in hopes that other women will speak up about sexual assault. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Stephanie Mancha)
by Tech. Sgt. Carissa Lee
48th Fighter Wing Public Affairs
4/3/2013 - ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England (AFNS) -- April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. We feature the story of Master Sgt. Michelle Blake, who overcame tremendous adversity and has finally found the courage to tell her story.
It's often said that joining the military can change a person's life. For Master Sgt. Michelle Blake, flight chief for medical readiness with the 48th Medical Group, joining the Air Force not only changed hers, but it saved her life as well.
Blake has endured things in her life that most people cannot imagine--things that began at the young age of 4, when she was sexually abused by a family friend. She said that after the abuse was discovered, it wasn't dealt with. "I'm not sure if it was to hide it or to avoid embarrassment ... either way, it was kept quiet," she said.
Not being able to deal with what occurred to her as a child caused her to become a difficult teenager, she said. "All of the issues I had came to a head. My parents sent me to boarding school; I saw them twice a year. That's not enough time or room to express yourself to your family."
The daughter of a British father and an Argentinean mother, Blake attended boarding school in Malaysia. "When I was 15, I ran away back to England and I met the man who would become the father of my children," she said. "I met him in Ipswich, where I'm from. He was 25; I didn't see a problem with that at the time because he made me feel like a grown-up. I clung to him. Soon after, the abuse began... I didn't know where to go or who to ask for help, and I was ashamed that it was happening to me and I always hoped that every time he hurt me, that would be the last time."
They married when she was 18 and things went from bad to worse when they moved from England to Savannah, Ga. Life was less than perfect. "He didn't hold a job and we were living in shambles," she said. "We had little money, little income. And then I found out I was pregnant with our second child."
She described the abuse as "... both physical and emotional. Bruises heal and fade over time, but the emotional abuse ... that takes much, much longer. He broke me. But the one thing that kept my hope alive was my sons. I recall holding my youngest son one night and telling him 'I WILL get you out of here.'"
It was then that she decided to join the Air Force, to provide a better way of life for her children. After she arrived at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas for basic military training, she said she began to notice her self confidence growing. "It was as if I had a voice for the first time in years," she recalled.
"Basic training was enlightening for me," she said. "I felt like I had an opinion for once, that there was more to life than what I had been doing with mine." She made the decision while at BMT to divorce her husband, however, she didn't tell him until she arrived at Sheppard AFB, Texas for technical training. As expected, he didn't take the news well.
"He showed up at Sheppard and he attacked me; I ran away from him ... people saw this, but nobody stepped up to help. I ended up running to my military training leader, and she locked me in her office. She was a tiny little woman, but she stood up to this bully; she was the first person to ever do that. The cops came, and he was escorted off the base. In the end, the state of Texas ended up pressing charges against him. He got two years probation, had to attend anger management courses and had a restraining ordered filed on him."
For Blake, that signaled the start of a new life for her and her sons. With the help of the Air Force's Family Advocacy programs, she began to regain her emotional strength. It has been a long journey for her, but she said that during the past 12 years, she has seen definite changes for the better in the way the Air Force educates its members about the importance of bystander intervention. "I'm not sure it was a phrase people even knew back then (in 1999) when this occurred. Today, people are way more knowledgeable and recognize the need to step in and stop things before they go from bad to worse."
Blake said she also found comfort in becoming a volunteer for the Sexual Assault Response Coordinator victims' advocate program, by being a sounding board for others who had gone through situations similar to hers. "I wanted to tell them that it is NOT their fault. That no matter how lonely or afraid they were, there is always somebody to listen, someone who wants to hear what you have to say."
Another positive that came from her involvement with the SARC program was meeting her husband.
"That is where I met my now husband, Tech. Sgt. Lucian Blake; he was a volunteer and I helped him on a high school awareness project. We became firm friends from the first day and have been together ever since. He has helped me a lot with my growth both emotionally and spiritually."
He also helped her find her voice. As a teenager, she found great joy in singing and music. However, when her life entered the turbulent times, she said she couldn't even bring herself to turn on the radio. "I stopped singing and listening to music. It didn't bring me joy anymore ... at that time nothing did." But, nearly 20 years later, she found the courage to raise her voice in church.
"My oldest son left for Lackland AFB last week, to begin his Air Force career," she said. "Our church had a special send off for him, and my farewell gift to my son was to get up and sing solo for the first time in two decades. It was a gift for him, but also for me," she said.
With that, although her life has not come full circle, she said she sees light now.
"I used to live in darkness, but now, I'm excited to get up in the morning each day to see what God has in store for me. He has protected me, and I can say for sure now that even if your voice is tiny, somebody will hear you."
Comments
6/15/2013 11:04:49 AM ET I think it is wrong beyond words that sexual abuse is allowed and goes on daily in the Air Force. An in our case the person doing the sexual abuse a commanding officer tries to blame the person being abused. Even a call from a previous AirForce Vet of many years only serves to anger the person sexually harassing our daughter. Can you believe this is a normal occurrence in the US Military. An our daughter is outspoken and trying to stop the sexual harassment think of all those to afraid to stand up for themselves. What happened to honor in the US Military.
Dave, Texas
4/11/2013 6:00:11 PM ET MSGT BlakeThank you for sharing your testimony. You have shone a beacon of light for someone who may be in an abusive situation. We serve an awesome God.
Barbara McCain, AL
4/8/2013 12:03:59 PM ET This story is VERY similar to mine. I grew up in an abusive household and married an abusive man. When he started attacking me in front of our child I knew I had to do something to gain my strength. I joined the AF in 2002. After Basic he realized that I grew and had confidence and strength and would not stand down to his assaults. Within a year we were divorced and I was able to give my daughter a better and safer life.
Bug, Idaho
4/7/2013 5:00:40 PM ET I am a retired MSGT.U.S.A.F.85 years old and that story made me cry.What courage it must have taken to tell it.I wish you the best of everything
Thomas McGill, LeedsAlabama
4/5/2013 7:29:57 PM ET Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are light for many. I hope you understand what encouragement you are providing for others who are struggling to come forward and ask for help. What a strong person you are. Thank you again.
Christine McGill, Ocean Springs MS
4/4/2013 3:20:05 PM ET I worked with MSgt Blake for many years and she is as super amazing in real life as she is in that story. Love ya Michelle
Bob Powers, Dover AFB
4/4/2013 1:35:37 PM ET This is a very moving story MSgt. Blake. Thank you for telling it and I am very happy that things are getting better for you. You deserve it and thank you for defending our country. Hooah for you and Semper Fi from me.
Jim Orlando, Romeo MI
4/4/2013 12:32:45 PM ET MSgt BlakeMajor kudos for allowing the Lord to use your testimony for His glory. This says alot about how and who you decided to serve.The Lord promised that He will keep followersbelievers in Christ completely embraced in His perfect peace and on that we take great comfort.May the Lord continue to use you and yours for His glory honor and praise.In Christ
SSgt Daryl Blackmon, Ellington Field
4/4/2013 12:01:14 PM ET I just wanted to say how inspiring this story was to read. It is great to hear that there was someone willing to help you and stand up for you after several people ignored the situation. I am trying myself to make Domestic Abuse more widely known so that people don't just stand by watch it happen and do nothing about it. I was in a physically and emotionally abusive marriage with another Air Force member for two years and did not receive the proper support from my command and others above me. A lot of what happened was brushed under the rug and ignored. I believe that if more people come out with inspirational messages like this victims will be more willing to come out and hopefully stand up for themselves and demand that their command take an interest in their situation. Thank you for your courage in sharing
Laura Archuleta, Peterson AFB
4/4/2013 11:44:41 AM ET MSgt Blake thank you for sharing your story and I am proud to serve with you in our great AF. Please continue to be an inspiration for others and an example to follow.
Proud, DC
4/4/2013 9:22:56 AM ET Michelle your story brought tears to my eyes What an incredible story of strength and resilience through the years. You definitely didnt let your past determine your future nor did it deter you from your goals. Your sons must be very proud of you as you should be of yourself. May He continue to guide you as you grow in His love.
Cat, Washington DC
4/3/2013 10:23:39 PM ET Great story really motivating and uplifting to read these stories nowadays. I am glad she has found her voice and that the AF has helped her. Joining the Air Force was also the best thing that happened to my life.
Andrea, Yokota
4/3/2013 2:13:58 PM ET MSgt Blake thank you for your courage and strength. Sharing with those close to you is one thing but to share how God has healed and restored you to the world is another. I know that you have changed someone's life by sharing your story of hope. God bless you
TSgt P. King, Scott AFB
4/3/2013 1:36:44 PM ET From your biggest fan God has brought you a long way and may he continue to guide you when you are strong and carry you when you are weak.
LJB, JBER
4/3/2013 12:33:20 PM ET Thank you MSgt Blake for your courageous story. May God continue to bless you as you bless others.
Miss Rita, Edwards
4/3/2013 11:44:19 AM ET Isaiah 502...great testimony...may Bless you abundantly
Lamar Thomas, langley afb
4/3/2013 11:08:22 AM ET I attended NCOA with MSgt Blake and she is a great NCO who embraces the AF Core Values and is an excellent role model for younger airmen to look up to. I'm proud to call her my friend.
Fridge, North Dakota
4/3/2013 10:39:24 AM ET What an inspiring read As a new father I know our women deserve the best in life. Its time we treat them like the angels they are. We can do better I know we can. Citizens please lets all take the pledge to support and defend these beautiful creatures. We owe it to them to stop this senseless act. I pledge to support and defend the mental emotional and spiritual stability of all victims and all humans against sexual abuse and all forms of abuse.
Azeez Oguntade, San Antonio TX
4/3/2013 10:24:22 AM ET Encouraging article which is a beacon for others who may be going through the same thing.
