Commentary - Confession of a chaplain: "I shouldn't be here"

News > Commentary - Confession of a chaplain: "I shouldn't be here"

Confession of a chaplain: "I shouldn't be here"

Posted 12/4/2012 Updated 11/30/2012

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Commentary by Chaplain (Maj.) Jeff Granger
65th Air Base Wing Chapel

12/4/2012 - LAJES FIELD, Azores -- My secret is I shouldn't be here. I was disqualified from becoming a chaplain. Now that I have that off my chest, let me share with you why that is helpful to know. The Enlisted Force Structure, AFI 36-2618, says that Airmen must be spiritually ready to accomplish the mission.

Spiritual readiness is described as "the development of those personal qualities needed to help a person through times of stress, hardship, and tragedy." The definition is clear, but it begs the question, "What are 'those personal qualities,' and how do we develop them?" This is where my story serves as an illustration.

I was a line officer for 10 years. God called me to ministry very clearly in 1998. I separated from active duty in 1999 with the plan to return as a chaplain. As I was getting out, I met a promotion board for major. I received incorrect advice from the personnel office which told me that my date of separation (DOS) would be "masked" from the board. This was incorrect, and I was not selected for promotion because I had a DOS, and the Chaplain Corps said I was ineligible to return as a chaplain because I was passed over.

I was crushed by the news, but I had faith that ministering for God was more important than whether or not I was an Air Force chaplain. I completed seminary and began to seek placement in a church. However, I was in my late 30s by this time and while I had extensive vocational experience, I didn't have church experience. I made the short list for a number of church positions, but was never the one chosen because the desirable choice was either a younger pastor for youth ministry, or a more experienced one for adult ministry.

My discouragement is hard to describe, and I slowly declined into depression. My wife thought I might have to find secular employment, but I had faith that God intended to use me in ministry. This was an important time in my spiritual development, because I would not known how committed I am to be a pastor unless I went through these difficulties. It was just a matter of enduring until I found the right place.

I still had a passion to serve the military, so I returned to the Air Force chaplain recruiter. It turned out that the door to the Air Force opened back up. While in seminary, I had joined the Inactive Ready Reserves, and I was promoted to major. That promotion eliminated the non-selection from my record. This, and many other factors, all showed me that it is only by God's grace that I am an Air Force chaplain, because I shouldn't be here.

So, what personal qualities did I develop to enable me to be spiritual ready? Since I know that this is the place God wants me to serve, I am able to persevere despite facing frustrations and disappointments. When I face challenges, I know God will also work beyond my power to help solve them. In addition, God built my spiritual strength through the difficulties I endured before returning to active duty.

You may have a spiritual perspective different than mine. But in general, when we have a spiritual perspective, we have a perspective that there is more to life than immediate circumstances--there is a big picture that extends beyond what we can see. When we have this perspective, we can handle hardship and tragedy with strength that is beyond our own abilities.

My experience and my ongoing spiritual exercises have prepared me to be spiritually ready for the mission. Are you?

Comments

1/7/2013 3:15:39 AM ET
Great commentary Good on Maj. Granger for taking the time to write about his experience and good on 65th ABW Public Affairs for publishing it. To all you nay-sayers you didn't have to read this article. You had the freedom not to learn what God in Maj. Granger's life just like he had the freedom to tell us. Gotta love our freedom

David, Turkey

12/19/2012 9:15:24 AM ET
While you may not believe in my family you can actually see them and they actually exist. It's a shame that the same logic and reason people use to stop believing in Santa Claus the Tooth Fairy the Easter Bunny Zeus Thor Odin etc. can't be applied to the existence of their imaginary guy. Perhaps when we finally realize that all we have is one another for the short time we are here we can finally learn to do things for the betterment of humanity and the rock we live on.

Michael McCoy, FL

12/19/2012 3:02:01 AM ET
Michael McCoy group promotion ceremonies are a tragedy. Any leader who directs these over allowing individual units to recognize the accomplishments of the individual has only his own interests at heart and not that of the individual or the unit that supported him or her in their quest for the next higher rank. Also I don't believe in your family so please don't bring them up at your promotion ceremony. It's like a slap in my face to think that someone other than you and your unit had anything to do with your promotion.

Maj, Home for a change

12/14/2012 12:37:31 PM ET
It's apparent that the promotion ceremonies we've attend are not alike. The only choice I've ever had is taking leave so I wouldn't have to be in the promotion ceremony. It's a scripted event and the individual promotees have no say which would be difficult since they put all the promotees for the month together and there's no way to tailor to each individual. My attendance at the monthly promotion ceremony is typically mandatory so not much of a choice there either. Although I can wait outside for the actual naming of promotees to begin so I don't have to listen to things I don't want to hear.

Michael McCoy, Tyndall AFB

12/13/2012 9:21:52 PM ET
Analyst USAFA do you sit behind me at a stop sign and wait for me to go or do you just ram me because you shouldn't have to wait for me to stop. Do you wait for me in line at the commissary or do you barge in front of me because you shouldn't have to wait through me buying my groceries. We all do a lot of waiting on each other and respecting the fact that others have things they need to do. Like I said though if you don't want to listen to a prayer in a promotion ceremony of someone who chose to include a prayer don't attend. Both the person of honor and you have a choice and that is the essence of freedom. If you force them to not have a prayer you have gotten your choice and they have not gotten their choice. That is the essence of tyranny and oppression.

Maj, Home for a change

12/13/2012 10:20:46 AM ET
@Maj Home for a change You don't need to make others do what you want do just because you want to do thing. You don't have to and shouldn't make others sit through your prayers.

Analyst, USAFA

12/12/2012 10:15:45 PM ET
Michael McCoy you sure gave your argument a lot of credence by quoting Jon Stewart. There are two reasons for prayers at promotion ceremonies...one being if the promotee wants it and the other being because God deserves thanks. If you don't want prayer at yours then don't include a prayer. If you don't want to listen to prayer at others don't attend. You don't need to make others stop doing what they want do just because you don't want the same thing.

Maj, Home for a change

12/11/2012 4:13:03 PM ET
@SNCO Texas As Jon Stewart said Christians have taken the idea of no establishment as persecution because they feel entitled not to equal status but to greater status. end quote. We non-believers which fortunately is a growing number in our country simply want the same treatment that Christians receive. If I want to pray Ill go to a church theres no reason there should be prayers at promotion or graduation ceremonies. Its a like a slap in my face. It was my hard work and dedication that got me to where I am and the only other people who deserve credit are my family and co-workers whove helped me along the way not some guy in the sky.

Michael McCoy, Tyndall AFB

12/10/2012 12:39:33 PM ET
@SNCO Texas.you do realize that the holiday you call christmas is a mix of Pagan traditions mixed in with old jewish customs and a hint of catholisism...just saying.

John Smith, My TARDIS

12/8/2012 3:39:47 AM ET
@SNCO Please explain how asking for an article that examines spiritual wellness from a differnt point of view condeming anyone or intolerant No one has stated that articles like the chaplains can't exist or continue to be published. There is enough room at the table for all of us here.

Karen, Deployed

12/7/2012 4:52:38 PM ET
Develop some religious tolerance people. Geesh. So what if they pray at events. If you are a non believer then just leave your eyes open and press. Funny how most Christians are tolerant of Wiccans Muslims etc but we Christians are condemned every time we post anything that might even be thought of as religious. If you are not a Christian I do not care. Just do your job as best you can and if you really feel guilty do not take off on Christmas. Yeah right.

SNCO, Texas

12/7/2012 8:42:17 AM ET
ok...so can we get an article from a muslim priest or a jewish rabbiah or someone who is wiccan. If spiritual-Fitness doesnt involve religion then how come it is always the Christians that hof the spot light highlight all religions or non at all.

John Smith, My TARDIS

12/7/2012 2:48:48 AM ET
Chris Kimball have you considered that God may have called him back to the Air Force because they were going to eventually open it back up. Have you considered that whoever made that policy decision may have been called by God to that job to make that decision. God has his hands in everything so much so that comprehension of that concept is impossible for us.

Maj, Home for a change

12/6/2012 12:56:47 PM ET
I also would like to see a non-religious person write about spiritual fitness. Or perhaps an article abut being non-religious in today's military. @This Guy How rude. @Col Steve Noone is saying that they dispise speach preaching or religion here. @Scott V

Analyst, USAFA

12/6/2012 9:56:08 AM ET
I'm sorry Chaplain Grainger. It was not God that changed the circumstances which allowed you reentry into the Air Force. It was the changing needs of the Air Force Chaplain Corps the Air Force congressionally mandated staffing levels and manpower policy. But then again what kind of Chaplain would you be if you didn't give The Man some credit for your good fortune right Keep spreading the good word Sir whether I agree with you or not.

Chris Kimball, Indiana

12/6/2012 7:20:56 AM ET
I find your lack of faith disturbingDarth VaderThe DoD

G. Heathen, VA

12/6/2012 4:06:55 AM ET
Thanks for the article Jeff. Even the layman can know that they are in the place where God would have them to be. When my dream assignment was cancelled I could not have known that this would be the best thing for my family as I was in the right place when a family medical emergency changed our lives. Thank God for his providential working in our lives even though we may not know it at the time.

Maj Douglas Pietersma, Undisclosed

12/5/2012 11:16:32 PM ET
I wish folks would remove their I'm not religious and I despise others that speakpreachetc. to me bias here. This is the statement of a fine man that wanted folks to know howwhy he was where he is. If his faith was instrumental to HIM that's wonderfulMajor I loved your story. There is truly a plan for you...keep serving man woman and the AFBest wishesColonel Steve USAF

Colonel Steve, United States

12/5/2012 7:27:54 PM ET
Are there any Bokononist chaplains in the Air Force I'd love to read a commentary from one...

Stuart, Planet Earth

12/5/2012 2:01:47 PM ET
Scott V comments like yours are another reason why I'd like to see an article on the subject. Faith is not the only way to achieve spiritual wellness nor is it a required part of it. That's not just my opinion and the AFs official position but a fact.It would be nice if more believers understood that there is more than one way to achieve wellness in this area.

Karen, Deployed

12/5/2012 12:48:54 PM ET
Far too many people conflate so-called spiritual fitness with religion. Spiritual fitness can also mean faith in your fellow airmen faith in the core values or faith in yourself. That said I agree with Karen. Less preaching please Air Force.

PB, US

12/5/2012 12:40:46 PM ET
to@This Guy Right Here. while i do apreaciate it. i am actually very happy. i am just extremely frustrated by the levels of ineptitude and i come off as grumpy. I have gone to churches before and it was warm and welcoming...however I personally feel that organized religion is just a nother industry in the business of making itself rich.

John Smith, My TARDIS

12/5/2012 12:08:03 PM ET
@John Smith...Sir I have seen your comments on here before and believe you are not a happy person. Perhaps your lack of faith in anything or your troubled past are affecting your mental well being. Try going to church or seeking help with an open mind and see what happens. I say this out of empathy and not spite. Its ok to let down the walls.

This Guy, Right Here

12/5/2012 10:52:33 AM ET
As an atheist man i find it hard to follow the whole Spiritual Fitness. during one of their so-called Resiliency training i got yelled at for stating that i don't have faith. true story...so now when people ask me if i have faith i go yes i belive in Cthulhu

John Smith, My TARDIS

12/5/2012 8:59:13 AM ET
@Karen what do you mean By definition you can't have spiritual wellness if you have no faith. By admitting a spiritual connection you admit you have faith...in something.

Scott V, Eglin

12/5/2012 7:00:25 AM ET
It would be nice to see an article on spritual wellness from someone who isn't a person of faith. I'm not knocking the chaplain or his article people are entitled to believe what they want and I'm glad he's happy. I'm only pointing out that spiritual wellness is a part of a non believer's life too and I've never seen any training or articles that address that aspect of it.

Karen, Deployed

12/4/2012 5:15:16 PM ET
God save us from whiney Majors.

Victor J. Ippoliti, Saint Meinrad In

11/30/2012 3:33:09 PM ET
Well said. This is really inspiring because I too would like to know where God wants me to be.

OB, England

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